No one wants to be an addict. It is not one of those things you hold your hand up and volunteer for. It just sneaks up on you: One day, someone complains about how much you drink, or suggests that you are using too much of some other drug and that it is ruining your life. You feel you have to construct an elaborate story about how much you can handle or a defense that the amount you use isn't that much--that you can control it. You know the famous line, "I can stop anytime I want to." These accusers don't know what they are talking about! Just look, you can go to work and get your job done, no problem. In fact, you pride yourself on how clever you are in getting the money you use to buy drugs or how much you can get done when you are using.
Besides, you have good reasons to use. If your husband would just help a little more with the kids and stop complaining about what a mess the house is after he works so hard at his important job, maybe you wouldn't need to take that extra Lortab pill to get through the day. If you didn't have to work such long hours or meet that short deadline, you wouldn't need the extra punch that the amphetamines so seductively provide. If your wife wasn't so frigid and would just put out a little more often, you won't be enticed by that topless bar and the half-dozen drinks you have to reduce your guilt and inhibition with the lap dancer while you fantasize that she will solve your problems. If you could just find the right man who would want you for something besides just sex, you might not need the heroin to take away the pain of feeling so worthless and hopeless about your life.
Then one day suddenly you find that you used more that you intended to use, or you spent money on your drug when you needed to use that money for rent or groceries or your daughters braces. Or perhaps you realize you've spent hours thinking about how you are going to get the drug, or what it will feel like, or you actually spend more hours than you intended just getting the drug. Not to mention the time it takes now to recover from several hours or days of using. What finally grabs your attention is when you find you are on the other side of a binge and you know that your wife has already said she will move out if you shoot up again. Or another DUI. Or you have lost your job because you failed the random drug screen, but you can't stop yourself from using and you don't know how to go home and face your family.
This is the time for treatment.
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